Just this morning I stumbled onto something that brought both anguish and relief in the same moment. I was posting obits on my news sites and saw another obituary mentioning Lewy Body Dementia. I knew about dementia of the mind, having watched my father go through that, but “body dementia” was a term that intrigued […]
When I thought about Thanksgiving and Christmas coming so soon after Dad’s passing, I wasn’t sure I could handle it. But today I realized I have so much for which to be thankful. I had a father who loved me and let me know that all the time. We had him a lot longer than anyone, […]
In the last four weeks my world has been turned upside down and inside out with the death of my father. From elation at Dad’s sudden improvement in his health and mental status to despair as he chose to stop dialysis treatments to agony as we had to watch him die slowly over six painful […]
Here at home I’m not surrounded by memories of Dad, so I can keep plugging along and get stuff done without thinking alot about it. But when I’m trying to go to sleep, or when I’m alone in the car, the memories flood in and so do the tears. I don’t know that the healing happens […]
Life seems to be moving back at its usual breakneck pace lately, keeping me busy with lots of web work and clients to take my mind off losing Dad. And yet the loss is never far from the surface. I cried all the way home from Christiansburg yesterday, just couldn’t stop the tears. And I […]
It’s very odd the places that grief sneaks up on you. You feel like you’re almost “back to normal” (whatever that is) and then the strangest things will bring that lump in the throat and produce the threat of tears. It’s been nearly two weeks since Dad passed away, and, all things considered, we are […]
When I ride in the passenger seat of my Explorer I find myself thinking of Dad. Probably all those days that my husband or my son drove me over there while he was dying. It just sticks in my head. I don’t think about those days much when I’m actually behind the wheel, though. Something […]
I wonder how everything can feel so normal so soon after losing my Dad. Not that I expect the world to take notice of his passing, or that I expect to feel sad all the time, because I know that would be abnormal. Dad was such a pragmatic man. He wouldn’t have wanted us to […]
Wow, it’s so hard to believe that Dad has been gone almost a week already. This week has moved along at a pretty usual pace compared to last week when every day felt like a week in itself. Amazing how your perspectives on time change in a crisis. Just a week ago my head was […]
Usually people ask that question theologically. But I’m asking it rhetorically, or relationally. And the answer is, of course, yes. Today I started doing what I would normally do on Sunday. I went to church and played the piano, and only cried a couple of times. I did some grocery shopping and made it all […]
The hard stuff: having family members upset because I left out something in the obituary notice. None of them offered to write it, and there was no intent to have anyone left out, but it’s really hard to think of everyone in the midst of grief, anguish, and turmoil. There were family friend who didn’t […]
I used to say that despite the assertions of geneticists, I inherited a Y chromosome from my dad, because like him, I want to know WHY about everything in life. There are times when I wonder why we had to go through such a terrible ordeal this week. I know that all things work together […]
